How do we express our love for our kids, and how do our kids speak their love to us? Different people express love in different ways. Some people express their love in written or spoken words, while others show it by the things they do.
In his book The Five Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman talks about the five love languages, which are Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts, and Acts of Service.
Love Language #1: Physical Touch – People need to be hugged, touched, or be near one another.
I always hug and touch my son. I love tickling him, too. If I’m done with work, I find time to sit beside him or just stay close to him as he plays. When my son’s in a particularly good mood, he loves to hug and kiss us, too. He loves sitting on my lap even when I’m working.
Love Language #2: Words of Affirmation – People need to hear compliments. A simple “Thank you” or “You’re looking good today” can warm a person’s heart.
I make it a point to praise my son for the little good deeds he does every day. When he keeps his toys after playing or when he obeys me or his Dad, I usually say, “Very good, Justin!” or “That’s my big boy!” Also, never a day goes by that I don’t tell him I love him, which he likes hearing, by the way. On Justin’s part, we taught him to say “please” every time he’s requesting for something and “thank you” when his request is granted. He also says, “I love you, Mommy (or Daddy or Tatay)” whenever he feels like it. Sometimes, he would tell me “You’re so pretty (or sexy), Mommy”; those words really make my day.
Love language #3: Quality Time – There’s no better gift that we can give to the people we love than our time. The moments we spend with our loved ones talking, laughing, singing, etc. are precious.
Even if I work and I’m tired, I personally give my son his bath in the morning and at night. I’m also the one who drops him off at school and picks him up from school the entire school week. After work and household chores, he has my full attention. On the other hand, watching TV/DVDs is my husband’s bonding time with my son. We go to the mall, too, every Saturdays, so our son can play at Tom’s World.
Love Language #4: Gifts – People need to receive thoughtful gifts. The price of the gift usually doesn’t matter.
We give our son gifts even if there’s no special occasion. Whenever my husband and I leave the house without our son, we usually bring him a pasalubong. My husband buys him toys also, cars usually, not necessarily expensive ones, whenever they pass by a toy store in the mall and my son shows no intention of leaving unless his Dad makes a purchase. LOL!
Love Language #5: Acts of Service – These are the things we do for the ones we love.
I cook for my family because I want to make sure they eat healthy and delicious food. I make sure my son gets his daily dose of vitamins to keep him strong. I also see to it that our house is always clean so nobody gets sick. For my son’s part, he tries to be a good boy and would tell me “Mommy, I won’t bother you when you work.” Sometimes he fulfils his promise, but more often than not, he forgets about it. I keep reminding myself that he’s just a kid, and kids are supposed to wreak havoc on Mommy’s schedule. LOL!
What about you? What is your love language for your kids, and how do your kids express their love to you?
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